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"This Is My Milwaukee" Promotional Video


(care of laurahall and momonga)

Basketball Kid: "This is my Milwaukee."
Chuck Jagoda: "This is my Milwaukee."
Businesswomen: "This is my Milwaukee."
Terry Nanny: "This is my Milwaukee, too. Why not make it yours?"

Terry Nanny: "From the glitz of the Canning District, to the slow jazz down by the piers, there's always something cooking in Milwaukee."
Terry Nanny: "I'm Terry Nanny. Milwaukee's been getting a lot of press recently. Not all of it good. Surely you know what I'm referring to. But the story that's not being reported is that of a vibrant city, getting better every day. Families, good jobs, culture, high technology. Still not convinced? Join me for a closer look."
[Title: Milwaukee, Come for the weekend, stay for LIFE! FAMILIES]

Auxiliary Narrator: "Milwaukee, Come for the weekend, stay for life!"

Narrator: "When asked by a duke, where best to make his home,
Voltaire replied,
'Plant your family tree in the soil of the arts.'
Voltaire would feel right at home in Milwaukee.
At the recently renovated Jagoda Museum Center,
you can sample artworks from across America,
while the kids hang out in the Activity Place.

When you're done, stop by the courtyard for al fresco dining at FeBrizzio's - the Museum Center's in-house cafe and grill. FeBrizzio's caters to every palate,
with entrees ranging from the great American hamburger,
to the Italian classic lasagna [ed: the narrator pronounces these with unusual emphasis - hamBURger, "la-zahg-ni-uh"]
[Title: Vegetarian option]
Fancy a night of music under the stars?
Check out the Milwaukee Seasonal Pops Orchestra and their celebrated medley,
Hollywood Glitz.
Why not join in the cultural renaissance yourself?
Try out for "The Broadway Bigshots",
Milwaukee's premiere theatre troupe."
Terry Nanny: "Checkmate! You're probably thinking, 'Sure, Terry, Milwaukee's got culture, but statues don't pay the rent, and my kids won't eat art!'
That's why Milwaukee's got jobs."
Narrator: "Working.

But life in Milwaukee isn't all hard work.
Sometimes you just wanna-"
[Title: Milwaukee, Get up and DANCE! YOUNG PROFESSIONALS]

Auxiliary narrator: "Milwaukee. Get up and dance!"

Terry Nanny: "With containment and decontamination well under way,
young professionals are flocking back to Milwaukee. Nightlife is thriving, as though nothing ever happened.
Need proof? Try getting a table at a popular downtown club.
There's a hotspot for every taste, it seems. Bohemian poetry clubs, masculine sport bars, lounges for swinging couples, even Oriental restaurants! So don't worry, Milwaukee's full of places to meet that special guy, or gal, or if you know where to look, to have sex with things other than humans!"
Narrator: "Like the other young professionals, in Milwaukee, Mark and Sally spend their days at Blackstar."

[Whistle blows]

Narrator: "Was that the quittin' whistle? Time to head for the Canning District!"

Auxiliary narrator: "Order that second margarita!"

Narrator: "The 'Milwaukee Margarita' substitutes vermouth for tequila."

Auxiliary narrator: [whispering] "Vermouth!"

Auxiliary narrator: "Now, dance a little closer!"

Narrator: "The 'Streetcar Shuffle' was invented in the Canning District."

Auxiliary narrator: "He doesn't know - does he?"


Narrator: "Young professionals demand the best. That's why Milwaukee's building new and completely fortified apartments. Central air. Hardwood floors. Great views. Class G certified."

[Title: Milwaukee, Step up to the STREETS. TEENAGERS]

Auxiliary narrator: "Milwaukee. Step up to the streets."

Terry Nanny: "By now, you've probably decided to move to Milwaukee. But relocating isn't easy, especially if you've got teenagers. You'll certainly have to have that big family talk. But before you do that, let me give the kids some fun facts about Milwaukee. Have your wife bring the children into the room during this temporary pause."


Terry Nanny: "Sorry, grown-ups! This section's for teens only. Kindly leave the room."


Terry Nanny: Hey teens. [he squats and plays a super hip music clip and stops it] You're moving to Milwaukee. [plays music while speaking] It's America's 22nd largest city. Its chief export is flax seed.

Auxiliary narrator: Teens.

Narrator: Milwaukee's an awesome town for teens, skateboarding, HAM burgers, church, toys. You can hoop it up with your friends as long as you follow a few simple instructions and stay out of Sector 21. Here's how.

Auxiliary narrator: Teens.

Narrator: Rule 1: Travel in groups wherever you go. Rule 2: Never leave home without your rebreather and a flare gun. And rule 3: if your party is being chased by Go.D.S.E.E.D. fragments, make your way to the nearest structure rated Class K or greater. Don't worry. All our schools are rated at least Class L. And talk about school spirit. Since we're still repopulating our classrooms, you have plenty of opportunities to get involved.

Man 2's voiceover: [banging noises] She wasn't in our area. She wasn't in our--I will not sit down.

Man 3's voiceover: Put that down!

Man 2: I am so sick-- [buzzing]

Someone: Throw him to the Go.D.S.E.E.D. fragments!

[Crashing noise and then a long beep.]

Terry Nanny: Leave the room and invite your parents back.


Terry Nanny: The kids seem excited!


Auxiliary narrator: Take a moment to remember before. Weren't you proud of your town? I don't blame you for leaving when things got tough--and Blackstar doesn't either. But now, it's time to rebuild and repopulate. For the next six months, Blackstar is giving all former residents the chance to start again, on us. We're offering a relocation stipend of 5000 dark dollars. Plus two free years of Blackstar housing. A place for possibility. A place for staying. Reunion.

[Back to Terry Nanny, who steals a basketball from the kid on a basketball court, Basketball Kid.]

Terry Nanny: Milwaukee was filled with hope when Blackstar came to town. They promised jobs, jobs for everyone. Their money fixed roads and opened hospitals. When Blackstar announced Project Go.D.S.E.E.D., even the mayor didn't question it. Blackstar said we needed a new god, so we began to build. We were so busy finishing the project, we didn't notice nature withering around us. We never asked to whom this new god would pray. We had to destroy Milwaukee--to save it--and the survivors buried the remnants of Go.D.S.E.E.D. in a sarcophagus deep beneath the Canning District. It was their hope that this pharoah's burial would keep him asleep for all times. No expense was spared: an emerald casket, a golden map, a forgotten weapon?

[Terry begins speaking to some guy with major 'tude and a shovel across his back.] But don't even think about going after the riches. The tomb is buried under thousands of tons of concrete.

Treasure Hunter M: I don't care how many tons. If there's riches, I'll find 'em.

TN: I hope you're not planning to dig there, treasure hunter.

TH: What's it to you? I don't believe in monsters anyway. Besides, isn't he supposed to be dead?

TN: Well it's not that simple. You know how trees lose their leaves in winter right?

TH: Yeaah!

TN: Well those leaves regrow in the spring and I fear the seasons may be changing.

TH: I came to Milwaukee for adventures not lessons. Now you gonna help me, or are you gonna stand in my way?

TN: You remind me of someone, treasure hunter. [chuckles] Take this.

[Terry hands the treasure hunter a ruby or something.]

TH: Thanks, Terry. I'll buy you a HAM burger when I get back from the toooomb!

Scene/Frame Analysis

(pending; script and notes can be paralleled with scene clips)

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